Learning to Accept What Others Give

This is Pippin. He’s a Bengal. They’re a breed of cat originally beginning as a hybrid with the Asian Leopard. They’re beautiful cats, known for their size, activity level, love for water, and ability to climb to pretty ridiculous places around the house.

They typically bond pretty strongly with one specific person. For some people, the downside is the fact that they aren’t cuddly lap cats. You don’t get a snuggle buddy with a Bengal. You’re most likely to get driven crazy by the obnoxious caterwauling from the other room when they leap to the highest point near the ceiling and want you to come witness their achievement.

Pippin has been a pretty typical Bengal since I brought him home nearly a year ago. His snuggling happens when he chooses to curl up next to me during the night, off and while he plays, eats, and roams.

During the day he sleeps on a padded chair, or in the box on the cat tree. While I’ve wondered if he’ll become a cuddler at some point, I don’t expect him to bypass his genetics.

I have noticed, lately, some changes. On nights when I’m not feeling well, he curls up closely to me, and is present most of the night. During the day, I’ve found him sleeping on my bed or on a piece of clothing of mine. Today I took the picture at the top of this blog entry.

He chose to come onto the couch with me, knead, purr, and curl up.

One thing I’ve learned about animals (and every other creature and person), is that you can’t force affection from any of them. You get what you give, and you simply have to wait for the love they’re willing to share.

I was used to dogs before I brought Pippin into my life. The dogs I had shared limitless joy and affection. Lots of snuggles, anytime. With Pippin it’s a game of patience. I gave him lots of love when he was willing to take it. Now I’m cautiously afraid to move in case he changes his mind and runs away.

It does make me realize what a gift it is to earn the love of someone who has been hurt and isn’t ready to open up. I have a family member who is like that. I did try to take the time to carefully show that I cared and was willing to wait. It took years. Finally there were small breakthroughs. Now we do have a good relationship. It is so rewarding to realize what you’ve done simply by being kind and patient.

As I leave you, Pippin is still here. Who knows for how long. Every minute is a gift. And that’s the truth for every relationship forged in patience and kindness.